New Story - again written exclusively on Steemit - WiP - Bouncer Part 33

in #writing7 years ago

This story is evolving with a pace all its own. I'm listening to the feedback and if something resonates, I've decided that I'll go with it (thanks @kiwideb). Feel free to give feedback on characters, storylines etc - even if you think it's harsh.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26, part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30 Part 31

Pictures from Google free to use search

Please note: This is the FIRST DRAFT, no editing, written straight onto paper. I don't know how to highlight that any more than it is. I'll NOT be making any alterations to what's already been written. As a good friend and excellent author has said, First draft is a race to get the story down before it decides to stop telling itself to you. Thanks Glenn. @alienbutt

74 pages, 29,214 words so far.


The first to arrive for the pre-opening party was Joe. He brought his good suit in a zipped suit-cover and he hung it carefully on the rail set up in a room specifically for the door team. The room, just off the kitchen was more like a corridor with a door at either end. Not enough room for seats, it was an after-thought rather than a designated area, but it worked for the moment.

Both doors had keypad locks so personal items could be left if necessary.

Joe closed the door behind him and went to find Zack.

“You look smart,” Joe said when he found his boss.

“So do you, but that’s not the suit you’re supposed to be wearing, is it?” Zack said.

“No, my work suit is in our room,” Joe said. “I wanted you to know I’m here before I got changed.”

“Good. If you want to catch everyone as they come in, make sure they all know what we’re doing this evening, that’d help,” Zack said. “I hope this is going to lead us in gently for tomorrow night’s mayhem. Friday night will be the real start, of course, but we need to make sure everyone is on the ball and we all know how to deal with issues as they arise. Did the radios check out?”

“Yeah, Taylor and I tested the radios, charged them all and set them to the right frequency.”

Anthony walked in at that point and Joe nodded to him.

Zack said, “Anthony, this is Joe, he’s the Head Doorman for all intents and purposes. If you have a question or problem and can’t find either Taylor or myself, Joe will help you and radio me if necessary.”

“Oh, Joe and I have already met,” Anthony said. His tone and demeanour were poles apart from the stressed, manic manner of earlier.

“Oh, good,” Zack said, a little taken aback.

“Yeah, Anthony knows my nephew, Daryll. They went to college together,” Joe said and went to get changed and find the rest of the team.

Viktor arrived earlier than expected.

Liz was dressed in a stylish suit that probably cost a couple of months’ wages for the average man on the street.

Viktor greeted his daughter in a professional manner, a kiss to each cheek and only someone that knew their relationship would have noticed his hand lingering on hers to give one quick, reassuring squeeze.

Zack noticed, but he had been looking for such a gesture.

Viktor shook Zack’s hand and then Taylor’s. Then he greeted Anthony. A warm handshake and a quiet word of greeting that made Anthony smile.

Zack walked with Viktor to the core of the door team. Five experienced and loyal Doormen that Zack put his whole trust in.

“This is Joe, my Head Doorman,” Zack said.

“I remember this guy. He knocked out two of the thugs at my club in Manchester a few months ago,” Viktor said.

Not usually lost for words, Joe’s forehead creased in a worried frown and he looked to Zack for guidance.

Viktor caught the worried look and grinned. “Nothing to worry about, Joe. You were entertaining to say the least. If Zack didn’t already have you in mind for one of his team, I was going to offer you a position on my security staff,” he said.

“Thank you, sir,” Joe said. “But I like living round here, I don’t really want to move to Manchester.”

“Then it’s good that you work here,” Viktor said. “You have a military background, I believe?”

Joe nodded. “Yes, sir, that’s correct, but it was a long time ago and I don’t mention it.”

Viktor nodded that he understood.

They moved to the next Doorman and the next. Zack got the feeling that Viktor would remember all their names with just one introduction and he also thought they would all be scrutinised for a while before he stepped back and allowed them to do their jobs without his input.

“Now that I know all your names, I would like to also know your nicknames,” Viktor said. “Joe, I believe you don’t have a nickname that you use at work?”

“That’s right, sir,” he said. “Joe is enough for me.”

“I believe there is ‘Sideways’, ‘Crackers’ and one other?” Viktor said and took notice as the men mentioned acknowledged their nickname. ‘Sideways’ and ‘Crackers’

“’Orrible Baz,” Barry said. “That’s me.”

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well i will read it later .. but i will

Lol, Joe is a rugged guy that He knocked out two of the thugs at my club in Manchester ..i fall for the part I just read and I'm impressed.. I can't wait to read all the part I missed.. Keep it up friend

Thanks information

What a great story...
I've never seen such story throughout my whole life...
Fabulous..
Amazing...

resteemit and upvoted

Good story @michelle.gent I collect these stories in one file that would be in a rush to reread them entirely. I hope you do not mind.
I like the story of Zaka completely and I think that you like Zach. He is an ostentatious and courageous character who will prove himself in the future.
This is an unusual story from you so it is very valuable. I am sure in the future you will have a great success here in the style and in everyday life. And most importantly, I wish you to buy your own supercar and ride it when you have the desire and not the opportunity :)

All the conversations are really interesting. Story is developing in a good way. All the people are very friendly and warm to each other. I appreciate your amazing writing skills.

Another outstanding part and a perfect plot Michel all this creative work
I liked your presentation of the roles of the characters in this part, their roles were not excessive at the same time reasonable
The arrival of Victor in a new suit surprised me and reminded me of Pratt Pitt in (''Ocean's Twelve'') :D :D
What I liked too: - Anthony? It really seems an interesting figure I did not recognize in previous sections
I did not know for certain that Joe had a military background
I really enjoyed , thanks for this excellent post :))