Keeping My Child out of Foster Care, Because I Grew up in This System That Really Doesn't Care!!

in #story7 years ago (edited)

A few weeks ago we were threatened by the Swedish state that if we did not send our child to school she would be put on the child protection services list and be taken into foster care.

Obviously, I was not going to let this happen for many reasons, One of the main reasons being that I grew up in foster care and I know what goes on once a kid gets put on a care order, this is the reason we packed our things and made a run for the nearest border.

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Source, before edited on pixelLab.



Why is it so easy for the state to take children and
place them under care orders?

What happens to these Children once they are under
government "protection"?

Why do so many children from care end up hooked on drugs, in prison or commit suicide?

Source.

There are so many questions to be answered, so many stories to be told and so many lost souls to be found.


Being put on a care order or voluntary care, what's the difference?

My Mother put me in care, so I was not on a care order, this meant that my Mother had kind of a say in what happened to me. Being in voluntary care, it was also possible to visit my Family from time to time, this also meant that I usually got
placed in foster families instead of care homes.

Growing up in care is a lonely place to be and
I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

You could always tell within 20minutes of being placed with a foster family whether they were in it for the extra income or whether they actually cared and wanted to help.
Out of the 15 or so families I was placed with, I would say 1 of them
actually wanted to help and cared for me.

Making the best of a bad situation.

Although being in care can be a cold, dark and lonely place for any child, I count myself lucky for many reasons, the main one being that I never got sexually or physically abused in care, I often wondered why especially because so many of my friends from care did get abused on a regular basis. Was it because I was a tough little kid with a BIG mouth? from what other kids told me being placed on care orders meant you always got put in care homes and that meant there was a good chance you would be abused, I was not placed in care homes till I was older and by then no one would dare mess with me.


Stories that would give you nightmares.

A lot of what I know would give you nightmares which is why I have chosen to hold back as I don't believe this is the place, but I will say this, the people behind the abuse are working in networks, they are cold and calculated people who are most often too high up the ladder to ever be brought down, some wear masks to hide their identity, others are so confident that the children are too scared of the consequences to ever come forward.


I had a friend who I will not name out of respect, this friend was a giant of a man who at a glance looked like a real tough guy, but once you got to know him you quickly understood that this guy had been through some horrors, his Mother was a prostitute who was addicted to crack and his Father was a customer, so he didn't have the best start in life but the real trauma started when he was forcibly put on a care order, within a week of being placed in a care home the abuse started.

He had been systematically abused from the age of 7-14 when he finally plucked up the courage to run away, whenever he used to tell me the stories I would get so angry, I tried to convince him to tell me who was responsible but everytime I mentioned it, he turned into a frightened little boy who was scared of his own shadow, the fear in his eyes was enough to tell me this man would never reveal the people behind these atrocities.

Out of all the stories I have heard over the years from being in care I have chosen this one because even though his Mother was not the most loving and caring person on this planet, what happened to him in care was much more horrific than if he would have been at home with someone who despite her problems, she still loved her boy.




I hope now you can understand my anger towards these government officials who are so quick to take children from loving families.

I hope now you can understand why I have taken it so personally when they threatened to take our child simlpy because we had chosen to homeschool her.

I hope now you can understand why I am devoting some of my time to exposing these so called child protectors who tear families apart with such ease even though they are fully aware of what happens to them once they are in the governments "care."


I can no longer sit back and do nothing.


Since the threats we recived a few weeks ago there has been a fire burning inside me, For the first time in my life I feel that I can actually stand up against what is happening and start making some noise and since I dont have a job anymore I have nothing but time on my hands. We are all aware of these horrors that are happening and I believe its time to stand up for all these lost souls.

The world is waking up and we are becoming more aware of the way governments are treating their citizens, it may be hard to hear stories like these but believe me it's much harder to ignore them.

Peace and love to the World.

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I agree 100% and gave you a 100% vote!
I have thought of writing about the horrors of the local Child Social Services branch in my town,
but honestly I am scared that they would seek revenge by trying to grab my own children. People who have no small children of their own anymore really need to take a stand against this.

I have 3 friends in my small town who have gone through the horrors of either having their children removed from them, or threatened to.
I have helped two of these families through this ordeal, either with advice to be vigilant and careful and not to trust them one little bit,
and in one case I took a young mom and her boyfriend (the father) into my home to help them fight to get their baby back.

The Social Workers acted completely illegally in all 3 situations.
There are laws to prevent abuse, but they break every single law and have no respect for the law.
In fact, when the young couple went to the police to show one violation of this law, the police acknowledged that what they said was true, but said unfortunately they can't do anything about this because that Social Services department is more powerful than them, and if they (the police) are told to remove a child they can not question but must obey, even when the removal order is clearly in violation of all the rules and laws.
It is DESPICABLE! Even the police have their hands tied.

Family and Child Ministries secret mission is to destroy families, not to help families!

The other friend who I helped with advice, had a child who broke his leg badly in a fall, and she went through HELL and back. They kept trying to trick her into doing and saying things that would make her lose the child, even though the doctors and all the medical exams showed that there was clearly no abuse.

People here have a hard time believing that the system is utterly corrupt and evil. They want to believe that while some mistakes and abuse happen on occasion, that they are trying their best to help families. But I know that nothing could be further from the truth. Going through those 2 cases with friends in the last few years cemented any doubt that I might have had.

@canadian-coconut Even after all these years of growing up in this "care" system I am still horrified when hearing stories like this, it seems so easy nowadays for them to take children from loving parents.

When you give someone power it usually effects them in a negative way, even if they were normal people before they can turn into monsters, these monsters are running our countries and they all seem to have the same agenda, tear families apart, create a broken youth, keep the care homes, prisons and mantal hospitals filled up with lost souls. Believe it or not it's very profitable for them to have this broken society plus they get a steady flow of kids to feed their sick and twisted desires.

There is no doubt in my mind that it's connected, it's designed to be like this, the separation starts at birth, then vaccinations followed by school, this whole process is designed to separate families, keep the parents busy working, the kids pumped full of vaccines and sugar and if that doesn't work then they just come and take the children because you forgot to brush their teeth last night.

It's the same in every country now which proves it's not a mistake or just a one off.

But the simple fact that we are aware of this is a huge step in the right direction, their time is running out and they know it, the evidence piling up against them is huge, in Britain we have the uk column, who are really doing all they can to expose them for who they really are,
Canada should have something similar, with platforms such as steemit gaining popularity I believe it will be easier to inform the masses.
I understand you being wary, me on the other hand, I am not scared of these vermin because I have no adress, I am a nomad so I feel I am in a great position to do what I can, and I will.

Thank you so much for everything you have done to support and encourage my posts, I am not the best of writers but I have a lot of experience and knowledge about these subjects, combined with my determination and fighting spirit I will do what I can to expose this madness.

Blessings to you and your family and all the people you have helped in your town and here on steemit, you are a very special Woman Linda.

Bless.

These are such important matters. I'm really grateful that we are finding each other and standing in the fire of these DESPICABLE actions. I'm really grateful for these exchanges and for keeping the awareness active--this really needs to be seen. I see some of my favorite people here on this thread and I'm grateful that we all have this understanding. Thanks @canadian-coconut for being such a powerful presence in sharing the truth!! Blessings to you.

You are welcome @everlove

I am just glad that @markwhittam started the ball rolling and contacted me about starting a new initiative. Read his latest here if you have not already:

https://steemit.com/familyprotection/@markwhittam/they-tear-families-apart-in-the-name-of-child-protection-which-is-why-we-are-starting-familly-protection-a-support-group-for

There might not be a more evil organization in all of the world. I have also watched a close friend go through hell because of cps. Two years after their ordeal was over, and honestly it was only over because they had a lot of friends and family vying for them which is something you need when dealing with them- they attempted to come after them again. This time my husband stepped in with paperwork that stopped them in their tracks. They never returned after that. This all occurred in Florida, which is the worst in this country in terms of 'losing' children. There was something like ten thousand kids that went into the system who were unaccounted for in the two years prior to us being there.

I agree! Organizations that target children and familes to abuse them are the worst of all. Way worse than robbing you of simply money, for example.

Usually they go after people that they believe will have little support or help through the situation, and are vulnerable in some way. All off the 3 families that I'm closely familiar with were vulnerable in some way, either poverty, formerly a child in the system themselves, or really young with no experience or family to help.

In the young mom's case, you could see the look of utter shock on the Social Worker's face when the judge didn't give them the ruling that they expected. But it was a TON of work and coordination by myself, the young father's family, the lawyer, and some other people who stepped up to help. It still took way to long to finally get the case heard before a judge and the baby was separated from the mother for far too long at such a tender age.

I'm so happy to hear there was a good end to this story! It's so often heartbreakingly not the case that mom and dad get their baby (or babies) back...

I know a lot of people are afraid of "shadow organizations", but personally (growing up as a homeschooled kid before it was entirely legal in our state), I have always been the most afraid of CPS. To this day, there are many precautions I take and a deep awareness I have simply because I do not ever, EVER want to flag CPS in any way, shape or form and it can be done so innocently by a parent.

Yes, the outcome was okay. Not perfect though, because although they let her keep the baby they kept checking up on her and made her do certain things. They should have thrown the whole case away and the judge should have had that Social Worker fired for breaking so many rules.
But yes, a much better outcome than they would have had otherwise.

Do law-breaking social workers ever get fired?? It seems to me that even a win is always a grudging one and the social workers get to keep right on going without even a reproof. Sort of like, "Oh well, we can't always be 100% right. Bummer."

Thankfully I do know of two cases where the investigation was opened and promptly closed without much fuss, just like you'd expect if common sense was involved. But those outcomes are definitely not to be counted on.

It’s just so sickening. Most things that are labeled as “help” are really meant to “hurt”. I agree that those victims of these types of abuse that have children are afraid to risk losing them. I too would be terrified knowing they could come after my children. We live in a corrupt world with corrupt systems.

"The Social Workers acted completely illegally in all 3 situations.
There are laws to prevent abuse, but they break every single law and have no respect for the law.
In fact, when the young couple went to the police to show one violation of this law, the police acknowledged that what they said was true, but said unfortunately they can't do anything about this because that Social Services department is more powerful than them, and if they (the police) are told to remove a child they can not question but must obey, even when the removal order is clearly in violation of all the rules and laws.
It is DESPICABLE! Even the police have their hands tied."

I know it's unbelievable but I went through the same thing with the police....It's crazy that no one can investigate these abductions and abuses....

It's gotta stop....

It is so sad that it is so common!

These Social Workers learn that they are above the law.
They learn that the rules of the country do not apply to them.
They learn that even when a judge is made aware of their illegal violations, that they will never lose their jobs or be punished.

Somebody told me of a friend of hers (a good person) who graduated as a Social Worker and was hired here in our town. She quit shortly afterwards because of the terrible environment. It really seems to me that good people who become Social Workers to help children can not stay employed in that field. It has become overrun by evil, evil people. I think that every single Social Worker currently employed needs to be fired, and brand new blood needs to come in.

I heard about how after the civil war ended in El Salvador, the newly elected government decided to replace EVERY SINGLE Police Office with newly trained ones. They realized that they could not reform the old cops who were used to the bribery and corruption. They had to start fresh.

I think that this is what has to happen in this field of work too. The current Social Workers have become so used to destroying families and children that there is no hope for reforming them.

The caseworker assigned to my friend was so incompetent.....I did some back checking on him and found out he had absolutely no social work accreditation at all....

I did more digging and found out he worked at Telus cell phone company before....

I was outraged that a cell phone jockey was making decisions about a family's future....

The way they mess with a parent's natural instinct to protect the child, and use that reaction to further their position their case against you....It's disgusting.

I could go on and on about it but it's hard to keep cool, even just talking about it.....

It seems that nothing can be done by anyone person....

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Again this post was amazing and reading the comments was uplifting to know that there are people that waking up to this horrific practice....and knowing that victims...both children and parents are not alone in the fight against this injustice....

Please resteem this if you haven't already....

Thank you https://steemit.com/@markwhittam
You have inspired me to post my story as well...people need to know about this....
I hope that you will keep us informed and continue raising awareness to the people....count on a resteem from me.
I wish you success and if you need tactical advice, please contact me...
I have made some head way by using their own dirt on them using any and all means necessary to obtain that dirt and then how to artfully use it against them...

Cheers.

Thats a very good post from @markwhittam. and a good answer from @canadian-coconut. There are many problems in the country. Not only this, others too. For example in German, where we are from. Parents need to go every months on a specific time to the Doctor for checking up. They say, this rules comes to avoid child mistreatment. Of course, I understand that is a true part of the life in every country. Some parents didnt care about they child and the child suffers because of some parents. Thats this Part. The other part is that the government is collecting dat from every child. how easy is that? every single child which born in Germany is registered and get controlled the size of body during the first 2 years and other things. So the government will know everything and so they can also make bad things. But now the important part comes: The Govermend is telling everyone that the checking every month is a duty, a must! Parents have no choice. But the truth ist, that is is not a duty. But with one side effect : in case parents didnt go to the doctor, than the government send they own family officers to the family and they will come into they home and check if the child is in good condition. After that, they will not come any more and everything is fine. This is the point, that the people dint know that.

This is the problem, so many families they didnt want to go and make the checking and give the private data of they child to the goverment, but they afraid because in public it tells the people that they will get big problems if they didnt do it...

So many lies are there from the government. And many people afraid to do anything against it, because they believe what is written on the papers.....

Thank you both for the excellent content.

I totally agree with you on that Child Ministries are destroying families. And most people that are foster parents are in just for the money and because they are just sick people. This whole situation breaks my heart and gets me so mad, how this system is running. There are more horror stories from being a foster child than great stories. Who in the right mind has the right to take a child from their parents, because of their beliefs. I understand when the child is just being really abused or beaten, then you can take the child away, but still the system they have right now, I believe is terrible.

After growing up in foster care I decided that I never wanted children off my own because of the horrors that happen there abd how easy it is to end up there

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Thank you for raising your voice to help protect other children from the so-called 'state', and to help open the eyes of others, who falsely believe these "care homes" actually care.

I wish so much that all who have been abused would come forward! The only way we can stop this sickness is by bringing it ALL out to the LIGHT!

Thank you @lyndsaybowes for reading and replying to this post.

You are right, the only way to make it stop is to bring it out into the open, the victims need to know they are not to blame and that they will get the support they need.

A lot of people that have come forward are being harassed by the police, some even get put in prison for trying to expose what happened to them like Melanie Shaw.
http://www.ukcolumn.org/article/desperate-letter-public-political-prisoner-melanie-shaw

I will not stand by and do nothing, I will shout at the top of my voice until someone takes notice.

Thanks for your continued support.

Bless.

Your passion has brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for caring so much!! It gives me HOPE.

Hello mate! Thanks for raising up this point my friend, I've seen so many kids in foster care fall into the most dangerous vice of the world. You said it right there, there is no care in foster care!
It's the parent who can really care for his kids, same like you are doing!
Cheers
@progressivechef

Thank you @progressivechef, it was not easy writing this post but it has to be told, we can't continue to ignore it.
Thanks for reading Chef!

Bless.

It is gut wrenching to see what is happening to the children, to families and to humanity. When will we ever learn? OMG!!!!!!

I hope your family is out of harm's way @markwhittam. It is horrible to be terrorized and hunted down by the people who supposedly work for you and who have been given the responsibility of looking out for our well being. We all know that is not what they're doing and not what their agenda is. Grateful there are more and more of us that see it and stand up to it. It's so scary as our most precious little beings are at such great risk.

Standing with you, sending loving energy, and doing our part to create a better world for us all. Thanks for the heads up and for continuing to raise the awareness. May you be blessed!!!

I also mentioned you in my most recent post. Grateful to know you!!
https://steemit.com/portraitcontest/@everlove/steemit-portrait-photography-contest-couples-week-no-14-young-love

Thank you @everlove for reaching out to me on this subject, this is something that is so close to my heart for so many reasons.

My family and I are very happy and are starting to feel real freedom.
Thank you for all the love, positive energy and support you are sending our way, we appreciate it very much.

I will be in touch with you soon as I have an idea for something that could be beneficial to this community

Thanks for the mention in your wonderful post, I feel very honered.

Bless.

I'm grateful to connect with like minds that make this Steemit experience that much richer. Standing up for freedom can be quite the challenge, especially when it involves the well-being of our families. Glad to see you are taking the steps to secure well-being and staying true to the path of love.

See you in Lisbon!!

Also gave you 100% and resteeming. There is so much to say about all of this, and yet so much more to do!!!

I like when I see you posting new stuff, it allows me to know you and your family are safe. Keep safe my friend. And FYI I have been sharing free home schooling resources on my blog over the last couple off weeks and will be adding to them since you were forced on the road, I know money has to be tight so check them out and bookmark the links you like. Keep fighting the good fight and sharing stories you learn.

I have my own experience as a child in the system. So I do know first hand some of the horrors a child can experience. Most children should never been removed from their families. Only in rare, extreme cases of abuse or neglect should a child be removed, and home schooling them to make sure they get a good education isn't a good reason to remove a child.

Oh, Mark...This post...First of all, I hope and trust that you and your family are safe now? As an unschooling parent it is truly horrifying to me to hear that you were threatened in this manner. It makes me feel angry, sad, protective...so many emotions, actually. Most of all, it makes me yearn for a world where we free spirits, and in fact ALL people, are free from tyranny and oppression. And I trust on a personal that you and yours will only be brought closer together than ever, and find a place where you will be safe to continue to spread your message of peace and love without the fear of violence.

I resonate very deeply with what you wrote here because I had a very troubled childhood and almost ended up in a 'care home' at 15 years old. I spent a few months living with a foster couple in our village because of the need for me to complete my exams at school there. Fortunately, they were very sweet and harmless, although I have to say, I despised them at the time - they were even more mainstream and fuddy-duddy than my parents, which 15-year-old me found very repellent! As the end of my exams neared the threat of being put into a care facility for troubled teens in the nearest city loomed and the social worker assigned to me became more feared and loathed by myself. He took me to visit the place I'd be transferred to and it (and he) completely freaked me out. I responded by running away as soon as I'd finished sitting my exams, at almost 16 years of age. Sadly, I ran straight into a very dangerous situation with an older man who saw me coming a mile off and proceeded to ruin the next 2 years of my life in ways that devastated the next several years of it.

You are absolutely right that this issue is HUGE and needs addressing by US, the PEOPLE, as part of a systematic extrication of ourselves and our children from the system of ABUSE that currently reigns upon this beautiful earth. I am here to help in any way that I can. As you'll see from my posts here on Steemit and elsewhere, I have turned my life around and used my own horrific experiences for the good. I am an agent for change and actively promote loving personal responsibility, individualism and autonomy. But I won't tell you it's been easy. That shadow is indeed long, and escaping the trauma nearly killed me.

Sending you and your loved ones so much love, from me and my unschooled 15-year old, Mark. We're in the UK, so anybody who would like information or to correspond about the situation here is very welcome to get in touch.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this subject @jaytaylor.
it's obvious that this problem is more wide spread than most people think.

I'm sorry you had to go through such trauma at the hands of such a man, I am glad you made it out the other end though.

I am glad you have turned your life around and are now in a position to make your voice heard and make a difference, you are right that we need to adress this HUGE problem that so many children are now going through.

We should all start to coordinate our efforts in shedding light on these atrocities.

Thanks for reaching out to me, I feel more positive now from the response on this topic.

Bless.

You are far from alone, Mark, which is terribly sad but also means that we have great strength - in numbers - and that we survivors are STRONG; and once we begin opening up to each other and joining together to protect and rescue those who are suffering abuse now, we will be a force to be reckoned with for SURE. Thank you for your bravery. Love to you and yours, Jay ❤

I can’t imagine all of the horrors you must have survived back then. But what a blessing that you are here and able to use your experiences to help and support others. Many blessings to you~

Big hugs to you, @crosheille - thank you for your kindness ❤

Hugs right back at ya~ 🤗

Wow @markwhittam, what a courageous story to share with us all! Thank you so much for opening your heart to the world so that attention can be brought to this oh-too-important subject.

What they are doing with these 'laws' to 'protect' should be f*&%^ing criminal. I also saw many kids go through what we called 'the system' and even ended up dating a boy from a foster family in high school so I am familiar with the horrors you speak and completely 100% support you in your decision to run like hell from the people trying to take your baby!

I can't understand how we allow the states/government/powers that be to hold such leverage over us- I mean how can they just 'take' our kids away? Our system is not flawed, it's broken and I am so sorry to hear that its affecting you in this way but I am happy to hear your resilience and desire to fight back.

I'm following your journey my friend, as always, offering a sanctuary here and sending your family love!

Thank you @heart-to-heart for reading and replying to this post.

I feel it's a very important issue that is easy to overlook for many even though most of us are aware that it happens.

To answer your question on how do they have the power to take our children, we unwittingly give them this power when we register the birth of our children, to register something is the same as surrendering it.

It's the same when we register a car, once we register that car it becomes property of the state and we become the registered keeper of that car but whenever they feel like it they can come and tow 'their' car whenever they please for what ever reason they choose.

There are people now that are refusing to register the birth of their children, this has implications and can make it hard to travel but if everyone started to do it then they would have to admit defeat.

These are all part of the things I shall be shouting about in future posts.

Thank you for your offer of support and sanctuary.

Bless.

Yes, I have debated the birth certificate issue myself and wondered if it would be worth it, despite the travel inconvenience (I guess we would call it)

You're right though, if more and more people do it and take a stand, they would have no choice but to change their policy however, I think so many people are just programmed into the way the system works that it might be a difficult task to upset it!

I encourage you to continue posting about these incredibly important issues (it goes without saying) that I am completely in your corner and would love to support you in any way I can <3 🤗

Yes @heart-to-heart I agree that the general population are too programmed to do anything about it. Most people are too busy working and watching games of thrones to understand what's really going on.

Thanks for the encouragement, I really want to raise this issue, I shall start off by really researching this matter so I can combine my personal experiences with hard evidence.

Thank you for all your support.

Bless.

You are very brave to share your story! Yes the world is soaked in abuse and pedophilism. Its time to stand-up. Think about what recently came to public knowledge, about the former primeminister Edward Heath. But that have been known for decades that he abused children from a Jersey orphanage:-(
We have to stop this nonsense, for every child abused or lost child, we are just polluting our selves, by doing nothing. You have started "the great work" for humanity and we all need to participate and stop worrying or focusing on trivialities.
I want to thank you for this post

Yes @mackjez-santos this Ted Heath scandal just goes to show how deep this goes, I am convinced that most of them are at it but only a tiny percentage ever face justice, only when some of them die does information start to be released, which tells me they are all protecting each other.
Thanks for backing me up on this.

Bless.

Bravo, Bravo Mark! You are doing what you were meant to do. Bring everything to light because that is the most powerful tool we all have. Everyone tries to hide behind something but eventually the truth prevails. You my friend are the hope for so many who are being abused in these horrid places and it needs to stop. You are doing something so important that I think you now know your mission. Stand for what you believe in and you will never fail because you stand on the truth!

I admire someone who can have that fire that drives him/her to do something so important for these young and innocent children. Maybe one day you can write a book to expose the truth. You are on a mission, one that is so important.

I support you in what you are doing. It really is an important stance on life and you are a hero in my eyes!!!! .....always, Cabbagepatch!

Thank you @cabbagepatch for this very encouraging and heartfelt message, I appreciate your support in every way.

The abuse has to stop, I don't think I can bring a stop to it on my own but I have to do my bit, and that's all that matters.

From experiencing the care system and then knowing what it feels like to be threatened by the CPS I believe I am in a good position to shed light on this barbaric system that claims to have the child's best interest at heart.

Thanks again for your continued support.

Bless.

Thank-you Mark for your wonderful comments. I do believe in the power of the pen and you are such an important force to bring light to this horrific situation. You have so much experience to know that what you say is the truth. Right now I am in a writing series about health but maybe I can one day do a series on this. Please continue your good work and keep positive and determine to be free and happy!!! :D