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RE: The Allies of Old; Book Two Renewal: Chapter Fifty Two "Fear and Loathing"

in #story7 years ago

Viva Las Vegas! Haha I see what you did there with the title. This chapter does set the scene well, though I think it should've been written along with plot-forwarding events. It's cool though, that's just my take on it. I'm coming from a place that's seeing introspection stretch on a bit longer than expected. I fully trust your process with this. Since this is already chapter 52, then it's safe to say this is much more longer than Reborn, right?

Now that I think about it, bringing her to Las Vegas might not be the best thing, considering the shitstorm they might get into when she goes in heat. It's great as a plot device, but it's a pretty iffy decision on their part. Makes me think if they really thought things through haha

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Actually it's about the same length, but there are definitely more chapters. When I'm finished putting it through I am going to try out some rearranging based on your feelings about it. The only reason I did it this way in the first place is when I tried going back and forth initially, it felt like too much jumping around. But I'll see what I can do.

And these three- well remember that they were put in hyberstasis as children and on their own. They grew up in a world without any unturned females, so they don't really know what happens during heat. They're pretty clueless about the vampire world actually, they've been on their own- hence they drink from humans even though they don't hurt anyone etc.