✊To my anxiety✊:

in #life7 years ago (edited)

IMG_20180118_192152-01.jpegYou've been here for too long now

You are the only one who stays even if I don't ask you to

I am so used to having you around that constantly I feel like I am you, or you are me, I’m not sure.

And there it begins, the self-doubt.

You make me feel like I’m not sure about anything anymore.

You pull me up and down like a boomerang, but sometimes I feel like I’m not coming back.

Now you are the best friend of insomnia and depression and all of you are there to make me feel the oppression.

I yelled at your whispers in my mind but even like that you are too laud.

Maybe I can let you win some battles, but I will never lose the war.

The war that I have against myself

against you.

I can feel you reaching for

my bones
my lungs
my flesh
dismembered

but I will conquer all those places where you want to live.
I’m not giving up
I’m not letting you take me down.

I’ve been here for too long too
more than I ever imagine to.

I have been through hell and I survived

I won this war time after time.

We can have some conversations, I know that you don’t want to go away, you too are to use to me too.
Let’s walk together but away
let’s be separated
please let me breathe.

I’m too tired too keep running from you knowing that you will always catch up.

I’m talking nonsense I know, but so are you.

The waves are crashing down on my brain
those waves you send against me.

The scars on
my arms
my legs
my stomach
my mind
living proof of all the times you broke me up

But me
me being alive is the best reward.

I remember that time you almost won, I was starving not only for food.
I took too many sleeping pills and throw them up.

And when I looked to the mirror I wasn’t there, it was you.

I felt like shrinking but now I’m big, in every sense that I can be.
I struggle too much to shut you down.
I’ve been knocked up by you.

But now I will start to defeat you.
I will save me from myself;

Get to know me

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Powerful expressions of deep meanings. You write well...I recommend that you join a free writing or a poets group here to get more exposure.

Thank you so much, It means a lot to me. When I feel the anguish drowning me the only thing that I can do is to write. I will look for a group of writers here, I didn't thought about it. I think that I will learn a lot of it too. Thank you so so much.

You're very welcome... There are many writers' groups here... check the tags for writers block, poets united, free writing... The more you get exposed the more people will know about your writings and follow you.

Welcome to steem! Good luck!

A lot of deep feelings here, thanks for being so honest!