How to keep out religious protestors

in #humor8 years ago

Do you want to keep religious protestors from disrupting your event? Here's an idea: Require people to sign a contract transferring their soul to the devil before they can enter the event. Make sure it has no loopholes.

"I agree that by signing this document under any name, given or adopted, actual or pseudonymous, I am hereby avowing my soul to Satan (aka Abbadon, aka Lucifer, aka Beelzebub, aka The Antichrist). I do so knowing that He (aka The Fallen One, aka The Father of Lies) or any of His representatives may choose to collect my eternal soul at any time, with or without notice. I understand that my signature or mark representing any name, real or made up, upon these papers constitutes a lasting and eternal contract, and that there will be no further negotiations on the matter of my eternal soul." -- Transfer of Soul Agreement

Brilliant! And it worked -- nobody disrupted their event despite several religious groups threatening to do so.