How To Get A Thousand Followers In Less Than A Month! | Immediately See Results Today!

in #funny7 years ago (edited)

I figured out the formula! In this post, I'll guide you on how to guarantee a thousand followers in less than a month. Keep in mind, this post is specifically about getting followers and not necessarily more upvotes. However, the suggested recommendations do overlap. So, that's a 2-for-1 combo deal. Sweet!
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Now, you might be thinking...

"Scuzzy, you don't even have 1000 followers, how do you know these tips and suggestions will work?"

And my answer is...


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Now that you're convinced, let's get into the details. The following tips and suggestions are highly recommended. So, apply all methods if possible.

FREE Tip #1

Spam thousands of posts.

Comment on every post to increase your visibility. The best part about this method is that you don't even have to read the contents of the post. Just skip to the comments section and leave a generic comment.

Here are some examples of what to write:

  • "I love this post! Follow me"
  • "Good. Please follow me"
  • "Wow. Very good post. My favorite of all time. Top 5 dead or alive. Follow me"

Or just go straight to the point:

  • "Follow me"

Always include the phrase "follow me". Also, apply the copy and paste method to increase efficiency. Feel free to do that with my examples. You're welcome.
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FREE Tip #2

Add every member on Steemit.

You'll increase the chances of getting followers by following every single person -- one will definitely follow back. To date, there are exactly 61,629 active members on Steemit. Your goal is to add at least 1000 members a day. After 61 days, can you imagine how many followers you'll have?
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FREE Tip #3

Bribe every member by sending them 0.001 SBD to their wallets and include the memo "follow me".

After sending them SBD, it becomes their obligation to follow you.

Some of you might think 'bribing' compromises your integrity. That's a common misconception. Think of it as an exchange. The world was built on exchanges and transactions, this is no different. If you still feel uncomfortable about the idea, then instead of bribing, send them 0.001 SBD and beg for a follow. Be persistent. They will eventually surrender!

If they don't follow you, flag every post they have. Be stern! Threaten them by saying you know couple whales that are ready and willing to destroy their reputation points -- this always works.


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FREE Tip #4

Post at least 50 posts a day.

Forget about the "trending", "hot" and "promoted" sections. Focus on dominating the "new" section by flooding it with your posts.

This increases the chances of people finding your post, which increases the chances of getting more potential followers. Remember 50 is the minimum and there is no maximum, so set your number high and post as much as you can.


Alright, 50 posts per day might be too many, but it's not impossible. Here are couple tips on how to achieve that. When curating content, consider the following:

  • The content actually doesn't matter.
    Curate random irrelevant content because if you diversify your content, that'll interest more people, which means more potential followers!
  • Minimize the text in the posts.
    In fact, why use words when you can just put a picture with no description. Remember: "A picture is worth a thousand words". That means adding two pictures equals a thousand words! Keep it light though. A single picture will be sufficient.
  • If you choose to include text, keep these in mind:
    • Ignore grammatical errors.
      For example, the 'period' punctuation mark -- we don't say it when we're offline, then, why use it when we're online. Just completely remove it from your sentences.
    • Include mild to moderate spelling errors.
      You want to make it obvious you're not trying. Tip: make up a new word!
    • Have all your texts in one single paragraph.
      There's no point having multiple paragraphs. In fact, you're helping the readers because all the text is conveniently in one section. Also, since the readers don't have to continuously scroll, you're actually aiding in the reduction carpal tunnel syndrome cases. Thank you!
    • Include irrelevant tags.
      Ideally, exclude any of the popular tags. Or even better, don't add tags at all.
    • Apply the copy and paste method.
      Apply this method again to increase efficiency. Just plagiarize all your content and rapidly create posts. Did you know @cheetah will give you an upvote for plagiarizing? Amazing!

This could be you if you trust me.


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Now you know the formula to gain hundreds of followers. Apply these methods and you'll immediately see results!

The information above is not complete and I'm sure there are a lot more ways to achieve followers, so I encourage you to comment below with your own tips and/or advice.

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Yeahhh... FOLLOW ME. pic.gif

Yes, this is all true. But you forgot to add one more important tip which will do wonders, and that is

Hilarious😂

Hahaha, very good. This can apply to any social media, I guess. Now, FOLLOW ME!!!

hahahaha. On Point!

well done scuzzy!

thanks for sharing yo! true spit! brapt brapt! moar fyah!

hahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I follow u. iz nice